By Doyinsola Aluko
For the past one year now, I’ve been getting angry a lot more than I used to in the past. Anger was something I had never really experienced until last year came along. I never understood the concept. To be honest, nothing could really bother me enough to make me cry before ; I was too nonchalant about almost everything. Whenever I did in fact get bothered by anything, I would just look at the person or situation and myself, calculate the “importance” percentage of both opposing parties to see which was more important (we all know how that went) and moved on with life. Fast-forward to a year later. Things now get to me.
Initially, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought “maybe I’m going through a midlife crisis but wait, I’m barely 21.” I prayed, fasted, talked to people, tried to redefine myself, tried to change my diet (yes, it bothered me that much) and I even started thinking about moving to Australia or somewhere far away from anything that could make me feel the way I did. This feeling restricted me a lot. I could no longer write as freely, talk as rapidly (yes, I am a natural-born parrot), laugh as genuinely or even sing as happily as I used to. Almost everything became a threat to my happiness. In no time, I became a shadow of myself.
Then I got an epiphany; I’m growing up! When you’re becoming more responsible, a period of rearrangement is bound to happen. When you now realize that if “A” and “B” come in contact with “C”, “D”, “E” and “F” , “G” is going to become “H” (we all know how “I” feels about that), you start to readjust your mentality. You no longer overlook the little things; they now matter. Everyone experiences change but everyone doesn’t experience it the same way. This might be a little phase for someone else but for me, this was the “phase”.
I’m an extremely passionate person so imagine me getting upset for longer than 5 minutes. I love deeply, care truly and hug tightly (beware!) so anything contrary to the feeling these all give me, makes me very uncomfortable. When I’m upset I instantly lose the ability to talk; I become mute. Suddenly, I become physically incapacitated; I can’t move a single part of my body. My heart starts to pump 10 times faster than it should. It makes sense since I was probably holding my breath while anticipating the exhibition of the wrongdoing or situational misfortune; I tend to sense the occurrence of an event before it happens. My brain instantly starts to think of skillful ways to abandon the situation at hand without causing any potential mental damage to myself. My brain can go from “0 to a 100 real quick”, so I let it do its magic. My eyes, oh my eyes. They become weak. They can no longer confidently stare at the reason for the feeling. How can they when they are helplessly trying to hold back the tears of disappointment derived from the current happening.
All those being said, I’ll be sharing little tips I’ve mastered, tried out and experimented with to get over being angry, upset and disappointed. Truth is no matter how old you get, how wise or disciplined you are, you will always encounter something that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is all just a part of life. As they say “you have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. Love what you got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, things go wrong, but just remember life goes on.” I hope you all enjoy following me on my journey to mental freedom
P.s. Please try to forget; it makes you feel freer and lighter.
I’m going to be sharing the 5 main tips that helped me immensely to deal with my “phase” last year. Although there were other things I tried, these were the main ones that really helped me cope with my transition period. I hope this helps someone else 😊